


I promise I will return.

by 0ya_script4



Series: Voltron: Legendary Writing Prompts [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Based on a Tumblr Post, Depression, Fluff, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, If you only read one work by me, Langst, Major Character Injury, Team Voltron Family, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, This is a wild ride, Voltron, Why Did I Write This?, possible trigger warning, vld, voltron angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-10-26 04:36:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10779699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0ya_script4/pseuds/0ya_script4
Summary: Lance is not okay. He is FAR from okay. He got himself here....but what if it's too late to get himself out?





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance didn't do good. He knew he was stupid but stupid enough to die?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2,852 Words

Lance gives up already knowing full well that he was a complete idiot. But he wanted the team to be safe. He promised Pidge she'd be able to see her family again. He promised Hunk he'd be able to return to his family...to Earth. He promised Shiro he'd protect him, even if he didn't need protecting. He promised Keith... damn it... why was that the one promise he couldn't keep?

_I promise I'll return._

"Lance!" Keith's voice shook through Lance's helmet. The damn thing in arms reach but he couldn't get to it. He decided to focus on the voices. He had to focus on something. Something other than the gaping wound in his stomach and the metal protruding out of his abdomen. 

 

Lance wanted to answer, but he knew Keith would curse him out. He knew Keith would be pissed that his promise was the one that Lance couldn't keep. Keith would blame himself, then blame Lance and never let go that Lance couldn't do this one simple task without ending up in the Cryopod like a... " _Lance"_. 

"Lance, I swear---ugh! Lance, why can't you ever listen. We've been calling you back for the past ten minutes! We just saw the explosion by the main hull of the Galra ship. They are going down. Where are you?" 

"Lance," Shiro's voice came over the helmet, settling in a deep warmth in the back of Lance's head. "Lance," Shiro repeated in a more stern manner, "you were supposed to be over here."

"Can't you do anything right?!" Keith bit back. 

Lance grit his teeth. He didn't want this to be how his teammates say goodbye to him. He didn't want to say goodbye, in general, let alone with being ridiculed about his tardiness. 

Lance couldn't form a single word, let alone loud enough for the helmet to pick it up  _and_ relay it to the team. 

 

"Why did the blue lion chose someone like you?" 

Lance had thought the same thing hundreds of times. Why him? Why chose a Latino boy from Varadero Beach, Cuba, to come into space and help with a war? Why chose the boy with everything to lose and everything to hide? Why allow Lance to leave Earth? Why let him leave his family? Why did he leave his family? Lance could only imagine how his mother was feeling right now, she was probably scared and worried for him. His whole family was probably concerned, and now they would never know where he went. They would never know why he left, the things he's done--for them, the sacrifices he's made, the lives that he's watch be destroyed... They could never even comprehend what he's been through this time, though it has been short lived, he's been through a lot. 

 

 _'Lance!'_ He heard his little sisters voice, several galaxies away echo in his head.  _'Lance! Come home, we miss you!'_

Lance wanted to return home so bad. He wanted to run home, almost falling over his feet in desperation and probably tripping over that one spot in the sand that he trips over--without fail--every time. He want's to knock down his own door and see his family. His brothers and sisters all there welcoming him home. He wanted to see the family dog, Papi. He wanted to be able to just run around outside on the front lawn with Papi, like a kid again--who is he kidding he's still a kid. A kid fighting in a war. A kid that is the right leg of Voltron, a being that Earth would never believe even if it landed on it. The Garrison would cover it up faster than Pidge cracking Galra code (which Lance has always wondered how she decoded a foreign language so fast). 

 

"Lance," Pidge's voice called through the helmet, (speak of the devil, right?), "Why aren't you here? Can't you just follow orders once?" 

It's not like he's not following the orders Shiro gave. He can't.

 

Lance tried to reach for the helmet but then the reminder of the predicament he was in overflowed his mind.

Lance had entered into the main hull of the Galra ship, alone, in order to save his friends. In order to save his new family. Lance could do at least do that much. If his existence was for anything, it was for saving his friends.... but the explosive set off too early and he didn't have enough time to get out.

Not like getting blown up once wasn't enough. 

Lance was knocked into every wall as the ship lost trajectory in a snap, the gravity shutting off, and everything just going wrong. Lance had tried to regain balance but just when his jet pack decided to work after all the thrashing around the reserve power turned on. Shocking the support beams and Lance's system. 

Lance had crashed to the floor, face down, his helmet crashing beside him in arms reach, but his arms folded under him and felt completely numb; he swore they were broken. The ceiling collapsed on him, crushing his back most likely disconnecting his spine, that or he lost his legs completely. Either way, he couldn't feel nor see them. He thought after that he might be able to survive, but then a slow and jagged metal shard, guided by gravity alone, slowly pierced into his abdomen through his back side. The pole split open his skin and slipped through his liver, and protruded out the other side of his abdomen landing on the floor that he lay on. His mouth was full of blood, his body was soaked in blood, he could see blood everywhere.

He began to doubt that even the cryopod could fix him at this point. 

 

But, what's impaled more is his ego. Lance never really labeled himself as someone of greatness. He played around with the idea and joked about how great he thought he was, but it was all a lie. Even if he didn't see himself as that great he never truly realized how much his apparent team loathed him. They seemed to be filled with nothing but complaints right now: 

_Lance, where are you?_

_Why can you never do anything right?_

_Just listen to an order for once!_

_Stop flirting and come over here!_

 

How much could they need him? If he died right now everything would be fine. He didn't need to live, not after realizing how much his team hated him. How much his team undermined him. Why is it that they undermine him anyway? 

Do they just hate his personality? No, it's got to be that he's a Latino boy, a boy of color.... no, Hunk's one too but they don't bother Hunk as bad, if at all. So what is it him then?! Does he just smell like an easy target? Does his body type scream "hurt me"? Do his eyes, that remind him so much of the sea--or home--, do nothing but taunt them of a world that they can never return to? Does him singing some Earth songs that help him cope the loss of his families constant touch ache their souls to the point where they just can't take it anymore?

 

Why is it that they are doing this now?

Lance knew he wasn't the favorite (it's too obvious that's Pidge) but he didn't associate himself with being the _least_ favorite....

 

Lance tried to move, he tried to free himself, but was reminded of the pole that impaled itself into his liver and through his abdomen; the glass throughout the front of his body being forced in deeper due to the weight on top of him that would no sooner hesitate to make him into a pancake. He could hardly breathe. He could hardly move. He could hardly talk. 

The helmet was right there. He was arm's length from being safe back on the ship, mission done and over with, in the cryopods to be healed. But was it really worth it? Was calling the team in for another damn rescue mission really worth it? Was getting the look of rejection from Allura, even if he went up to her to ask a legitimate question, worth being saved over? Was hearing Shiro lecture him for the umpteenth time about how much he wasn't like Keith worth it? Was hearing Keith undermine him and compare him to an insect or something easily killed and replaceable, worth it? Was seeing Hunk's terrified face, and then kind lecture, worth it? Was hearing Pidge complain about needing him to search for her family worth it? Was living really worth it??

Was anything worth it?

He already felt dead inside after connecting the dots, why not just let this ship sink? Why not just allow himself the sweet taste of death and allow to lift such a burden from his fellow paladins' shoulders? Why not do them a favor?

Lance had saved them. Lance had shut down the ship, put it on reserve power, made the Galra on the ship go crazy and run around like chickens with their heads cut off. He did something good.... but the team could never know. They'd be to clouded with all his mistakes on the mission--like always. 

 _Why am I not good enough?_ Lance closed his eyes as his vision fell blurry and his tears covered his face and the deck below him.  _Why can't I be like Shiro? Why Can't I be like Keith??_ Lance wanted to sob, he wanted to scream and burst out in tears, he wanted the Galra to find him and end him--or worse: capture him and let him die beside the other prisoners. But, he physically couldn't. His stomach was already bleeding so much the blood was almost to his chin. If anything, he'd drown in his own blood before the blood loss. If Lance moved any more than his already quiet whimpering would just get louder and he'd be more of a goner than he already is. 

"Lance, why can't you do anything right?! Where are you?"

Several voices came through his helmet. He wanted to tell them off or he wanted to tell them he was about to die. There was no other option...

Oh. Wait. Yes, there is. 

Lance took a breath and focused almost all the energy and life he had left into two simple words: "I'm fine." 

He was not fine, though. Lance was anything but fine. His gaping wound was bleeding out so quickly even the red lion wouldn't reach him in time now. Even if Allura had some sort of transportation device, it would be too late. 

"Are you serious?!" Keith called back

"Lance quit joking around and get out here." 

Lance couldn't. He couldn't tell them that he legitimately was stuck. That he was impaled and going to die. That he was done for. That the Blue Paladin was dying. 

 

 _The Blue Paladin._ He didn't even deserve the title that such a strong person once held. Lance had asked Blue a thousand times what the previous paladin was like, but Blue never answered. Lance assumed that it was too much for Blue to handle; or that Lance and the other were two completely different characters. Blue was like that: Accepting. That's probably why she picked Lance. He's the most unstable and problematic out of the team (and that's saying a lot with Keith on the team). 

"Here's the problem, Sir--" A thick voice rang through the room Lance was in.  _They_ had found him.

The Galra had found Lance. 

Now he was really dead. 

Lance could call out to the team, tell them he wasn't really okay, that the Galra were right there, that he was bleeding and would probably be dead before they even got there. But for some reason, he couldn't. 

 _I can't do it! Why?!_. Lance thought to himself. 

Lance gasped and coughed, moaned a little when he tried to move. But everything was broken or so numb it was as if it wasn't there, to begin with. Lance slowly felt the weight lift off of him as if whoever entered was digging him out to save him. Then the pole through his liver moved with a yank. He gasped loudly, his breath hitching and holding back as the hand pulling the pole stopped and let it set back into Lance's body. 

"It's a Paladin of Voltron!" A voice that Lance did not know, nor wanted to get to know, said a little too  _gladly_ that they found him.

"He looks quite beat up, what should we do??" 

"Do we have any use for him of he's half dead?" 

"Do what you wish with him." A third voice joined, but through the Galra communications device, or at least Lance could assume that much.

 

Lance nearly peed himself when he heard the cackling behind him. 

Why him? Like, really? The universe just couldn't let him die? Couldn't the world just let his soul rest? Was there any use for it to be broken even more so close to him dying?

 

Lance felt no different with the weight off of him. But, he sure felt it when the Galra started using their fists and feet. Asking questions that had no body, no need to answer, no actual answer to them that wouldn't give the Galra any more fuel. 

"What's Voltron's weakness?" One of them asked, grabbing Lance's head and lifting him from the ground. 

Lance's body was tired. He wanted to go home, he could actually almost smell home. He could smell the salty undertone of the sea, the coffee his mother brewed each and every morning even though he wasn't a big coffee drinker. He could almost hear home, hear the waves crashing onto the shore, splitting onto the rocks, he could hear his siblings laughing and enjoying themselves. He could hear the hustle and bustle of the beach, everyone saying their 'Hello's' as the herd of Lance's family passed through the beach. He could almost even see home. See his house on the water, see his mother and father waiting on the front porch for him to come home, see their smiles and hear their gasps. Maybe he was delusional from all the blood loss, but he could feel a slight breeze from the beach, he could feel the salt water around his feet, the light touches that his family gave him daily. He missed that. He missed his families touch, no one out here was handsy no one even knew each other well enough to be able to touch lance like his family. Hunk had tired... but it had felt so forced that Lance had to request him to stop.

Lance let out a painful gargle, his eyes blurring and his body not feeling any more pain. The Galra hand was too much for him to take. 

 

Lance died. Lance died right there, alone, afraid--terrified, really--, betrayed, and in the hands of the enemy. He left his family behind, his everyone behind. He even left Voltron behind, but it was for the best, right? No one wanted him there anyway. Their words rang in his ears. All their last words to him were nothing but negativity and hate. They were telling him to grow up and help them out. What were the other four even doing while Lance was lying there? What better activity could they have been doing while Lance lay there dying? What were they doing while he died?

Complaining, that's what they were doing... and now, they have nothing to complain about.

Lance is actually dead, in mind, body, and spirit. His spirit crushed a long time before his mind, which was crushed before his body. His team has nothing to complain about now. No more "Lance stop that", "Lance do this", "Lance that' not right", "Don't be a Lance", and so on. 

Lance never regretted a single thing.... well he regretted one thing. 

He hated not being able to keep promises:

_I promise I'll return. Return to all of you, to my family that loves me. I promise I'll return to you Keith and when I do... I will show you all who's the Sharpshooter of this team! When I return, I'll show you all I'm worth being on this team! I'll show you all that the Blue lion knew what she was doing when she decided to let me pilot her. I prove to you all that I am something! I promise I will return._

 

[Prompt](https://lance-lance-revolution.tumblr.com/post/160144066252/langst-prompts)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance hasn't returned to the ship... why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of you have requested another chapter and I'm finally able to come back to this and write one! I hope you like this chapter. Also, this will be the final chapter! So I hope you guys like the end.

The four stood in a semi-circle all waiting at Blue's hanger for her to enter. Keith had his arms folded across his chest and his foot tapping, Shiro felt a slight worry boil inside of him, Pidge sat on the floor curled into herself thinking the worst, and Hunk was constantly checking his wrist as if he had a watch to check. Everyone had enough time to undress themselves, eat, and return to the landing bay without Blue returning nor Lance. The fight was won, the Galra on the ship were all dead or unconscious and wouldn't wake up for a LONG time. 

"Are you kidding me?!" Keith shouted 

"Maybe... we should go check on him..." Pidge said for the hundredth time, which was answered with the same tone of disgust from earlier

"If he got himself into something he'd phone us and we'd help him get out." Keith huffed his chest. 

A heavy feeling set into their stomachs, Keith looked down to the ground to try and calm himself because  _why the hell was he worrying for Lance?_ but when he looked to the ground to get the grounding comfort he saw that he was in the air

"WOAH!" Hunk expressed as he turned upside down in his flailing

"What's going on?" Shiro tried to balance himself and as a precaution, he fully formed his helmet in case the oxygen was shut off (the team followed).  

"We.... p-paladins....are you all... alright....?" Allura was trying to communicate what had happened but she seemed to be crying, she seemed to be sobbing.  

"Allura what's wrong?" Pidge asked

"I do not know, I have been overcome with.... a deep sorrow...."  

At that exact moment, everyone was washed over with the cries and screams of their lions. Their Lions pulled and tore at their heads forcing all the paladins to outright sob. To feel as if they were the worst individuals in this universe, to feel a crippling depression so bad that it brought them to their imaginary knees and made them feel worthless and toyed with. They felt air being taken from them, their throats closing with anxiety and then..... nothing. Not that they didn't have any emotion but the fact that they felt as if a giant hole was carved out of their chest and that no amount of crying, no amount of eating, no nothing would help them be able to fill that void. They had too much raw emotion that it just felt empty. The hole in their soul felt as if it were consuming their whole body making every paladin numb from their toes to every last strand of hair on their head. Their cheeks wet with tears, their words lost in hiccuping from crying too fast and too much, and their souls ripped apart and no longer whole. Each Lion rumbled in the back of their head, sobbing along with them as if a tyrant force jumping its soul into each lion and paladin and brought its emotions upon each and every being in their vicinity.

They all crashed to the ground, the intense emotion lost, but still lingering as if a badly burnt piece of bread still stinking the air

"I did not like that...." Hunk said sitting up and looking towards Yellows hanger, "He's never done that before...." 

"I have a really bad feeling about this.... like a REALLY bad feeling..." Pidge stayed on the ground her lion only adding to her worry

"Everyone, get into your lions, we are going to go find the Blue Lion and get Lance. He may be tinkering with something and out of com range." Shiro said, trying to logic this out as if Lance would be Hunk and find something interesting and stop to take it apart and see how it works. 

Everyone walked solemnly to their lions, trying to talk to them and figure out why that surge of outright depression jostled inside all of them... they all didn't want to say it, but it left a  _Lance_ feeling in the back of their mind. They couldn't describe it, it was as if Lance himself were projecting his emotions as if he were coiled in a ball and felt trapped and incomplete as if he were suffocated and alone.

 

 

 

They entered onto the bridge. Flickering lights addressing their suits of armor as they rushed to find Lance, as they all swore to stay together and search every aspect of the ship just in case any of the Galra were waking up by now. 

 

 _"He looks quite beat up, what should we do??"_   an echoed voice vibrated into Shiro's body, aching even his bones

_"Do we have any use for him if he's half dead?"_

"Come on!" Shiro whispered as he nudged them moving towards a long hallway with a small purple light at the end of it.

 _"Do what you wish with him."_ Laughing was heard through tight chests as if the men were just as wounded as the person they captured. Metal being adjusted was heard and then a chillingly familiar gasp. 

_"What's Voltron's weakness?"_

They all sprinted to the room, they didn't care if they were heard  _HERE US! IGNORE HIM! DON'T DO ANYTHING TO HIM!_ their hearts were racing and their eyes wielding with the sorrow of hoping this was all a dream, as if this was not the case, as if this weren't.... but it was. 

Shiro stood at the threshold of the door, everyone protected behind him. He let out a whimper, an instinctive human noise when one faces complete agony. An eight-foot Galra dropped the creature it was taunting, the galra's left arm like a ragdoll and bleeding profusely but no one truly paid mind to it they rather watch the body toyed with fall to the ground and crash without any sound, without any movement. They all silently stared at the wearer of the Blue Paladin armor slink to the ground and not even try to rise. 

Not even let out a joke, not even poke fun of him failing, not even a laugh.... the Blue Paladin was motionless and the team could've been there to prevent this.

"LANCE!" Hunk called out in unbridled rage. Hunk pushed everyone out of his way as he called for his Bayard and blasted both Galra down in seconds. The two not breathing just like their fellow Paladin. "Lance, come on!" Hunk fell to his knees as he gently grabbed his comrade, his buddy, his other half, his best friend, his roommate, his sanity's body in his arms. Lance was getting cold, he was getting stiff, he was getting pale. 

"W-We need to get him to the healing pod!" Pidge called out, her voice hitching and squeaking at the painting of horror out in front of her. 

"Hunk..." Shiro didn't want to say it, he didn't want to be the bearer of bad news, he didn't want to tell Hunk any single syllable that was about to roll off his tongue.... but as the leader, he had to, "He's.... gone..." 

"NO!" Hunk looked back to Shiro and furrowed his brows "Don't you dare! I could never live with myself if--" Hunk gasped "If he's gone I have to tell his mother.... I have to confront his whole family and tell them that Lance THE ONLY ONE TO GO TO THE GARRISON, their little boy that they all saved up a lifetime's worth of money to send to a good school, that the joy of their family AND OURS... is dead. I have to go tell his whole family that.... I killed him." 

"What?!" Shiro questioned exasperated "Hunk what are you talking about?" 

"I was the one who said we should split up in the first place, I was the one who said Lance should try to stay back and out of the way--for once-- and I was the one who--" 

"Hunk, stop. I'm the leader, I could've said no but I didn't," Shiro began to vent, he began to tell Hunk that as a leader he should've vetoed the idea and gone along with forming Voltron and taking down the base, the easy way. As Shiro and Hunk bickered Pidge downloaded all the information on her paladin drive, she was going to decode everything and figure out just what Lance was doing. Keith joined her just needing another person beside him, one that wasn't yelling in tear-jerking anger over their dead friend. 

"I'm going back to the ship with him, he can be saved!" Hunk said in a desperate tone wanting nothing more than this to be a dream or a test or something! Something.... not this. 

Hunk passed Shiro and sprinted to Yellow, he took Lance up to the castle and away from Shiro who was practically seeing stars he was so terrified. Hunk had never raised his voice, let alone raised his voice to Shiro. No one had ever seen Hunk so hurt that he KILLED two Galra and sprinted into danger to save his obviously dead friend. No one had angered Hunk enough to get his brows to angle downwards and condemn them with a calming rage that slowly boiled until his booming voice that shattered every hope of winning the screaming battle. No one had ever heard Hunks voice slander, knock down, or torcher anyone in a way that it just did for Shiro. Hunk broke and everyone could see just how much he had broken.  

"Pidge?" Shiro looked at her and asked. His voice seeming a whisper now due to just how loud the two were yelling.  

"Almost done, you can head back, Keith will stay here and when it's done we'll return."  

"O-Okay..."  

"You'll want to grab Blue," Keith pointed out

"R-Right..." Shiro slouched as he scuffed his feet and walked back to his lion. He was not desperate to return to a hostile Hunk, nor was he ready to inform Allura that the Blue paladin was no longer.

Pidge looked to Keith and then to the loading screen, she had about 20% more to download. 

"I've never seen him like that..." Keith said looking to the door with emotional eyes

"Which one?" Pidge scoffed from the back of her throat. 

"Either of them... I've seen Shiro angry, but never 'seeing-red' angry and I never thought Hunk could  _get_ angry.... let alone kill two Galra, storm in, and be  _that_ angry."

"Hunk had joked back at the Garrison that he was like the Hulk, how he was not pretty when he was angry... so he tried his best to stay away from anger....but no one is perfect."

A small beep singled to Pidge that the download was done. She took out her paladin cable and turned to the metal pile now in front of her. She slowly walked up to it and saw the massive blood pool still there. Fresh as ever. She was about to turn when she saw a small gleam maybe arms away from the pool.

"What is that?" She asked as she walked over to it and dug it out, "Oh, my goodness...!" Pidge held in her hands the exact reason why Lance wasn't calling for help. 

"His helmet?" Keith asked placing a hand on Pidge's shoulder

"He... it's not broken... he could've asked for help. Wait! You don't think--" Pidge let out a breath "What if all he heard was us complaining?" She looked to Keith for something other than the look of 'oh, no.'

"L-Lets just get back to the ship and look over the data, okay?" Keith tried to comfort her, but she knew exactly what he was thinking. She knew that he knew that Lance died listening to them blabbering on about him not with the team and to just get his butt back to the ship. 

 

Pidge and Keith walked back to their Lions together, there were no words as Pidge held tightly to the helmet, her looking at the blood stains crusting on the sides of the helmet, the cracks and pieces missing from all the battles that they've been through together now. It all was going to stop now. Lance was--is dead. There was no saving him she knew that... they all knew that. Pidge didn't want to separate from Keith she wanted them to just be beside each other for comfort for a while, but she knew that she had to pilot Green back to the castle. She knew that eventually Keith and the rest wouldn't be here either... they're all human after all.

Everyone met up in the castle around the healing pods. Hunk standing close with his arms crossed as if he weren't going to accept any form of Lance not coming out of the pods.

Hunk was like this. He was kind and gentle to those he knew and he treated those he didn't know with suspicion and malice. But when the one person who accepted him without hardly knowing him is on death's door all the 'rules' are out and he just can't contain his worry and his anger at the same time. 

"Where is Shiro?" Pidge asked as she stood beside Hunk and placed her hand on his elbow. 

"Don't know, don't care."

"Hunk, come on," Keith said 

"This could've been prevented." Hunk didn't move his eyes from Lance

"We know--"

"If we had just stayed back on Earth."

"Hunk--excuse my language--but what the hell?" Keith moved in front of Hunk, blocking Lance, trying to get Hunk to look at him. He saw hurt and swollen eyes, eyes that looked like they'd seen this before, as if the last few times that Lance had been sent to the healing pods had engrained into his brain that Lance would be fine, that he would be able to come out of the pods.... but there was a hint in the twinkle of Hunk's hazelnut eyes that he knew that Lance was not going to come out, that his best friend was not going to return this time. 

"Keith, _listen_ ," Hunk kept his voice steady as he prepared to lecture Keith on his current emotions, but Pidge poked his cheek and made Hunk look right to her instead

"Hunk, why don't you go to bed?" Pidge smiled, "We can watch, Lance."

It as if Hunk softened by Pidge's eyes, as if she was the saving grace for his anger. He relaxed and leaned into her touch, "Yeah... Sorry... I'm just worried for Lance. I know that's not an excuse, but... I'm not going to head to bed, I'll go apologize to Shiro. If anything happens, phone me." Hunk let out a puff of air and headed out the door. 

Pidge and Keith did just as she said they would. They grabbed Altean beanbag chairs and sat waiting for Lance to wake up. They sat not even sure that this would cure him. They saw his lifeless body and knew Altea was a high tech place but reviving was NOT on anyone's list of capabilities. 

"I remember when I first met Lance," Keith said looking to Lance and sinking deeper into the beanbag. 

"Yeah, I've been meaning to ask. The first time I met you was when we headed to space. I knew Lance, Hunk, and Shiro, but not you."

"Yeah, this life must be a living hell. You live with five guys and an older female that's difficult to relate anything to..." 

"Anyway, Lance?" 

"Right," Keith smiled "I actually had a crush on him, I know everyone does... but he's stunning and ethereal when he doesn't talk. His ocean blue eyes stunned me since I'd never really seen the ocean before. I'd get lost in them and just watch as he smiled and laughed. We were even partnered for a stupid project with toothpicks or something and he opened his big stupid mouth... I lost all hope of having him fall for me when his only concern was girls. I couldn't relate... I got caught up in Shiro and the rest is history... what about you?"

"My first time meeting Lance? Well, I was in his class too, and I was pretending to be a guy because _I_ was banned from the Garrison. Lance didn't know, at the time, that I was a girl and he treated me like 'one of the guys'... it was really refreshing. Him, Hunk and I were then put into a team together but he didn't put my name to my face and didn't even really recognize me until our first day as actual teammates. He's really nice and kind, he does have a big mouth but that's because he  _can_ have a big mouth."

"What are you two doing?" Keith and Pidge heard a light teasing tone behind them, turning their necks to look at the person

"Hey, Shiro, we're just talking about our first time meeting Lance want to join." 

"Sadly, I can't... I don't know anything about him..." Shiro looked to Lance, his face sour and solemn, "I met him when you all rescued me from the Garrison, I've learned his behavior from all of you and through his actions. I hardly know him, which is sad to say." 

"How?" Pidge sat up

"What?" 

"How do you hardly know him? Lance says he looks up to you... that you're his hero. How had you two never crossed paths before?" Shiro just looked to Pidge. This was the first that he'd heard of Lance thinking of him so highly. Lance seemed like a free spirit, one to not hold anyone higher than himself, one to not question or pose a threat to anyone by himself. Lance didn't really seem like the 'you're my hero' type but rather the 'I'm your hero' type. 

"I... didn't know that--"

"ALLURA YOU CAN'T!!" barging into the room was Allura and Hunk, he was weeping as he raced after her and tried to timid her down. 

"He's gone, Hunk!" Allura turned in a halt and pointed to the healing pod, "No amount of healing can bring back the  _dead_!" 

"He might not be dead, we have to try!" 

"He is!" Allura let out a tear as she turned away from Hunk, passed Keith and Pidge, and pointed to the healing pod holding Lance. "These vital signs haven't moved since he entered... these vitals are all at zero. He's gone.... Lance is dead. There is nothing more we can do for him..." 

"What if we project him into the castle?" Pidge asked 

"Yeah! That could be a thing!" Hunk added

"The castle can't search an inactive mind... I'm sorry... but Lance is gone." 

"He's gone...." The other four repeated; blinking fastly as if to hide tears or try to wake themselves from this terrible, terrible nightmare. 

 

 

A few dobashes (hours) later Pidge was found at her station, decoding the Galra code to figure out just how Lance had died. He had answered them all with an "I'm fine" before he died so he couldn't have been that worse off! He had to have been fine until those Galra came along.

"Pidge?"  

"Sorry, just thinking," Shiro sat beside Pidge who sat cuddled into Hunk's lap. They were all trying to wrap their heads around the fact that Lance was actually gone. That he couldn't be reached anymore, that the comedy of the team was gone, that the grounding reality was... well, real.  

"You were mumbling something to yourself...." Hunk said in a sigh

"I know, I was just thinking.... Lance had to have been fine, right? Like he said he was fine when we asked him..." 

"Well, yeah I'd think so." 

"I'm thinking that Lance had to have been fighting those two Galra and just.... lost..." Pidge had a flash of the pool of blood that still had no answer. "GOT IT!" She practically jumped as camera feed appeared on the Altean screen before them.

> "Guy's I've got this! I can do it, no worries, do you even know who you're talking to?" 

They heard Lance's voice, his cocky reply to all of them telling them that he'd be leaving the back and heading around to see if he could do anything on the outside of the cruiser. None of them knew, though, that he was already inside. 

> "What's this?" 

Lance walked into the room where they found him, his armor as it was before the battle. He hopped into the room, gun at the ready as he made sure the room was empty before he continued. He then started looking around. He took off his helmet and placed it on the console in front of him. Pidge switched cameras and saw the front of Lance's face as he looked to the console. 

> "Oh, it's like an ultimate power switch? Maybe I can override it and then we're good?" Nah overriding is Pdges thing, maybe I could just place the explosives on and get out of here before the timer goes. I think Coran said 60 ticks; that should be fine." 

Lance talked to himself. They remembered the explosives that Coran had given to all of them, he said that they should be used as a last resort. That the device in which they were placed on had to be Galra and that it would destroy all Galra tech connected to it. They watched Lance set the charges. He grabbed his helmet and then **six** ticks later everything exploded. Pidge gasped and held onto her shirt as she watched the Camera feed become nothing but snow. She switched camera after camera trying to find him. The feed cut to just voices. 

> "Lance, I swear---ugh! Lance, why can't you ever listen. We've been calling you back for the past ten minutes! We just saw the explosion by the main hull of the Galra ship. They are going down. Where are you?" 

Keith twitched as his own voice coming through the feed, it was almost robotic coming through the helmet and then the feed. It was as if the feed had lost ten minutes of time or that the helmet just cut into the team's banter. 

> "Lance,"

Shiro's voice came over the helmet forcing him to straighten his back, knowing exactly what he was going to say. 

> "Lance, you were supposed to be over here."
> 
> "Can't you do anything right?!" 

The video then came back. They all gasped at the sight. Lance had crashed to the floor, face down, his helmet nowhere in the shot but the teams voices well in earshot. The blast had forced the ceiling to collapse on him. He was most likely paralyzed, at best, but he was still breathing. He silently wept to himself as his eyes overflowed with pained tears and his lip quivered with words that he bit back from replying. His everything seemed to be dripping blood, seemed to be helping form that pool of blood that Pidge saw. 

"Oh, my gosh..." Hunk said looking to Lance's stomach. He had wondered where such a wound had come from, but he never thought that it was from a metal pole slowly stabbing itself through Lance's stomach. They watched his face contort to the pain trying not to make a noise to alarm his teammates or any soldiers nearby. 

"He could've called out for help!" Keith whimpered angrily "He was in pain, we could've saved him." 

> "I'm fine."

Lance spat up blood as he tried to comfort his team, still thinking about his team before he thought about himself.

> "Are you serious?!"
> 
> "Lance quit joking around and get out here."

Feet were being heard, for some reason. The four thought all the other Galra were unconscious or dead... but apparently two had come to or survived. 

> "Here's the problem, Sir--"

The two that Hunk had killed earlier, began to lift the metal off of Lance as if they were trying to help him even though it looked more like they were making sure none of their men were in the pile of trash. 

> "It's a Paladin of Voltron!" 

They all cringed at the joy that they had with finding Lance. 

> "He looks quite beat up, what should we do??" 
> 
> "Do we have any use for him of he's half dead?" 
> 
> "Do what you wish with him."

"Stop it." Hunk said stopping the tape, "We all know what happens after that." He said quietly trying to gain an ounce of composer back. 

 

It settled into all of their hearts. Lance was dead. But it wasn't that he was dead that messed with them the most, it's that he had to die in such a way. He had to die in a place where he  _could_ be saved, where all he needed to say was "help" and he'd be sent into a healing pod and he'd be good as new. That all he needed to do was.... interrupt their demeaning and undermining tones. That he had to find some time to breathe, catch himself, and then ask the team that was tearing him down to come and help him. Who would do that? Who would ask a team that didn't seem like they liked them, let alone need them, to come and save them? All of them understood why Lance didn't call out, why he died.

He didn't feel needed. He didn't feel like he had a place on this team... and honestly, as they thought about it: where did Lance even fit into Voltron? He was the Blue Paladin, but what more was he? What did he offer to the team? What did he see himself as?

Lance, The Blue Paladin of Voltron, and a dear friend... dead, and yet Voltron still goes on. 

**Author's Note:**

> [Send me a Prompt](http://oya-art4.tumblr.com/)


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